Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize