Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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