I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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