a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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