Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We got so high we made milksteak
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
