Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
