but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize