You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
