He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
