If i come over, it means nothing
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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