Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
