Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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