i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His hands were made for my vagina.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
