My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
