Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
