I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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