I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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