What did we do last night that was yellow?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
