Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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