Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
