You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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