just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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