Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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