We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
