Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize