Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
