Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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