you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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