I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
