Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Vodka?
Forever.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
