have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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