therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
