Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize