Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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