is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
