They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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