Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just gift wrapped bread.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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