if you like me you must not know who I am
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
