Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
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Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
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He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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