Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
