I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
