the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
not ubering you a puppy
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
