yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
