Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
