i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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