she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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