I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
