It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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