Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
