So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
