dude i'm inner monologue high
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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