How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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