this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am one with the molecules
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
