girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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