He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
