i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
