Its about making memories worth repressing
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
