i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
